Escaping From Prison

Acts 16:25-30
²⁵But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed. ²⁷And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. ²⁸But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here." ²⁹Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. ³⁰And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?""

In the scripture above we read that the chains and walls that imprisoned Paul and Silas were broken when they worshiped God, and this is something I have often heard taught. We ought to praise God under all circumstances and in all places for He is more than able to come to our rescue. However, there is an interesting aside to this story that I have never specifically heard taught.

If the scene above had been written for a Hollywood movie then the chains would have broken, the walls come down, and Paul and Silas would have quickly and quietly snuck away to their smuggled freedom. They would no longer be confined but they would have remained fugitives.

However, Hollywood didn't write the story, God did. In His perfect version, Paul and Silas stayed, despite the opportunity for freedom, and a man and his entire household were saved through their testimony.

What can we learn from this? When I find myself in a prison situation, a season when I feel trapped with no way out. A scenario where I have been falsely accused and/or even convicted of crimes I did not commit. Or, like Paul and Silas, perhaps I am indeed guilty of that which they accuse me, but the action was not wrong. What do I do? Do I sit in my isolation and weep, "Why, God? Why?" Or do I choose to praise Him in the midst of my darkness?

Let's assume for the sake of continuing that I have made the better choice. I have praised God from the depth of my despair and He has heard my cries for help. The doors to my proverbial cell swing open and God whispers, "You are free to leave, my child, but if you choose to stay you will be a part of something amazing."

That is the great challenge. When I have been accused, and imprisoned. When evil people say hateful things against me. When the very deck of my life seems stacked against me God offers me freedom, but asks for my sacrifice. Then the question becomes, "How far will you follow me, My child?" I stand in my cell at the edge of my open door, ready to run when again His voice whispers, "How much of yourself are you willing to give for My sake?"

If I choose to make a run for it, He cannot be angry. After all, it is a freedom He, Himself granted. In fact, many of us would run out the doors glorifying God for His faithfulness. But if I am willing to be still and trust Him, might He use me to accomplish something even more miraculous? What might happen if I am willing to lay my own interests aside and wait for Him, despite my own discomfort?

In the story above, not only was the prison guard saved, along with every member of his household, but Paul and Silas were set free as truly free men, not fugitives who had miraculously broken their bonds. If I will only wait and listen for Him, might God do more for me than tear down a few walls? If I will take a chance based on my confidence in Him, if I will surrender to His will over my own fears and preferences, might He tear down those walls and then use me to begin to rebuild beyond my greatest expectation?

This is a valuable lesson for me, and I believe I am not so very different than anyone else. Too often I seek whatever will bring me comfort and make me happy, but my perception is off. I see such a small corner of the larger picture He is painting. Oh if I will only be content to wait for Him, what might He be able to do in and through me!

Freaked Out Blessedness

I realize that it has been far too long since my last post and I cannot thank enough those people who enjoy my blog enough to contact me and tell me you've missed it. Our beautiful life has been a bit of a multi-tasking circus and I've been the Ring Master trying to juggle all the acts. This brings me to today's inspiration.

While chatting with a friend who is praying about some choices in her life she said she feels a bit "freaked out" by the possible changes. I laughed, knowing well the feeling, and then replied that I live in a perpetual state of "freaked out blessedness."

My son brings so much joy into my life, and into our family. He makes me laugh and he makes my heart flutter. But with all of this joy and energy comes the greatest responsibility I've ever had. That responsibility can seem incredibly daunting. This little life is waiting to be shaped. He is looking to me to teach him, train him, and enable him to succeed. It is a tremendous honor and a heavy burden. But, God promises that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and He has called me to shape, teach, train, and enable this little man so that can only mean that He will carry me through.

A few months ago I was beginning to pray for and about my family. I was deciding what to pray for and about and as I thought through the various possibilities I realized something quite simple that has revolutionized my thinking. It was simple, and apparently I've been missing it for years.

Why am I so concerned about praying for more children but not too many children? I have a boy now, should I pray for a brother to be his playmate or a sister to "complete" our family. (Isn't that part of the American dream?) It all sounds so ridiculous as I type these words, but this is exactly what I've done throughout my life on any number of subjects. I decide what I believe is best for me and then I pray for God to make it happen.

On the aforementioned night, that changed. If God wills me to have a child every two years for as long as I'm able, probably totalling about eight, then I need to pray that God gives me patience; that He helps me to find and hold on to peace amidst the sometimes chaos that surely would frequent our home; that He enables me to always make my husband my top priority, never neglecting that most important relationship. What is, on the other hand, my son was a singularly wonderful gift from God? If he is the only child that God grants us biologically then I need to pray that I use my time wisely, for surely I will have more of it than the mother He grants many children. I need to pray for contentment with the beautiful child He has already given me. I need to pray that I find my fulfillment in Him, not in my family.

Don't you see? It has nothing to do with what I want or desire or prefer. My prayer has become "God help me to become the woman that I need to be in order to walk out the path that You've laid before me. Help me to be who You've created me to be."

Jesus prayed "I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do." (John 17:4)

Let me live my life able to say the same when my years have ended. Let me not claim that I have done everything I ever wanted to do, or that my plans have succeeded. Let me live my life and finally declare that I have brought God glory on earth by completing the work He gave me to do, by becoming the creation He always intended me to be.

So, there are moments when more children seems perfect, and there are moments when I can hardly manage the one I have. God knows that. He also knows exactly what I am truly capable of.

After almost six years of marriage, I still get butterflies in my stomach when I hear my husband pull into the driveway after being away at work. He still makes my heart pound. For no reason whatsoever, my little boy runs up to me from behind and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. I am, indeed, blessed to be living this life.

Maybe I'm supposed to be a little freaked out. It keeps my eyes on Him.

Why "Twilight" is So Popular and Why We Should Care

OK, I recently succumbed to my own curiosity and watched "Twilight." While I understand that according to book fans the movie was somewhat disappointing (as nearly all movie adaptations are) it definitely gave me enough of an idea of what the series is about to think deeply about the larger implications of the franchises popularity.

In the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge they define the primary questions in every woman's heart to be one, "Am I lovely," and two, "Am I worth fighting for?"

Recent generations of women have grown up sorely lacking the affirmation that they need from their fathers. Little girls need to be told that they're beautiful when they spin in their princess dresses. They need to know that they are worth the sacrifice of time for their father's to sit down to a tea party with Mr. Bear and Mrs. Snuggles. In the absence of this necessary validation, girls will seek comfort and pleasing words wherever they find them. This is one tragic reason there is so much sexual activity among today's youth.

In the Twilight series you have every girl's dream come true. The hero, Edward, so deeply desires Bella's company that he is willing to torture himself and deny everything in his nature just to be near her. His desire for her is all consuming and, quite literally, ravenous. He risks his comfort, his secrets, and even his life to protect and defend her. And she, being able to do nothing to defend herself, is able to allow him to protect her.

Now let's look at it from his side. In "Wild At Heart" John Eldredge sites the prevailing questions in a man's heart to be "Am I strong enough? Do I have what t takes?" I hate to revisit the old argument of all that is wrong in society, but...we are so messed up! Little boys are not allowed to be tough anymore! They are supposed to be sensitive and gentle, sit quietly and calmly. The very nature of what defines them as boys, different and wonderfully unique from girls, is criticized and called into question by society at large.

"Twilight" presents us with a hero who is fierce and impossibly strong, but in control of his faculties. He is driven to protect the object of his love no matter the danger to himself. This is a man that a boy would desire to emulate.

Now look at the heroine from a man's perspective. Of course she is beautiful but we'll leave that alone. Bella is devoted to Edward, knowing all his flaws and failings she is devoted to him. She knows he is immortal and she longs to, quite literally, send eternity with him. She honors his wishes and respects his strength, and she allows him to protect her. She is not so determined to be independent that she cannot acknowledge when he has saved her. This is a woman that a man longs to rescue, a woman he dreams of fighting for.

There has been a major androgenization of our society. Men are supposed to be more feminine, gentle, sensitive, and tender and women are supposed to be tough, fierce and driven. But these roles that society tells us we should be playing are contrary to our God-given nature. How, then, can we wonder when a story comes along that strikes a chord within us?

When a story comes along to tell a woman that she is lovely, that she is worth fighting for, she will be drawn to that message, for her heart has been crying to hear those words.

When a story comes along to tell a man that he has what it takes. He is strong enough to rescue the princess. When a man hears that he can be the hero, he will listen, for it is the validation for which he has been starving.

We cannot change the very nature God has given us. The popularity of "Twilight" is just a symptom of the great sexual identity crisis our society is facing. Men, it is not only OK to be masculine but it is remarkable, inspiring, and necessary for you to rise up and be men! Women, not only is it all right for you to be feminine, it brings beauty, grace and compassion to the world when you embrace the nature God gave you.

So, men and women of the world...be yourselves!

Flaws, Failings, and Consequences

From Genesis 31-36...

Part 1:

From our past reading we have clearly understood that Jacob is a deceiver and a manipulator. When he met Laban, he finally met his match. So Jacob works diligently for Laban and Laban continues to change his wages and accuse him of treachery, although the Bible indicates that Jacob, in this endeavor, was completely honest and blameless.

Have you ever been in a situation where you truly did nothing wrong but were accused of wrong doing? I have had this happen with personal relationships and also at work. It is a completely helpless feeling because, in general, I live my life believing that if I do my best and try my hardest and live righteously then I will be honored or rewarded. But what if that is not what happens? When I have encountered this situation I felt completely helpless. I felt as if I could not even defend myself because there was nothing to defend. If there is no infraction then what is there to defend, right? What we learn from this story, though, is that even though injustice was being done upon Jacob, God did not fail. Every time Laban changed Jacob's wages, God yielded the flocks to favor Jacob. Laban's every attempt to cheat Jacob led to him losing more and more of his property. Jacob didn't have to do a thing. Neither do we.

All we have to do is obey God and work with excellence as if we are working directly for Him, because after all, aren't we?

Part 2:

Jacob realizes that the only way he is going to get out of this corrupt environment is to sneak away in the middle of the night, so he rounds up his huge family and all his hard-earned property and they flee.

Laban chases after them because Rachel had stolen his household idols, unbeknownst to Jacob. This is what I find incredibly interesting and worth reflection: Laban confronts Jacob about the theft and Jacob doesn't even ask if anyone took the idols! He makes this rash oath that if the idols are found in his company than the person with whom they are found will be put to death.

Don't you find that interesting? This man who lived his life by lies and deceit doesn't even search himself before pronouncing his own innocence. He got so comfortable with God blessing him that he began to feel superior to Laban and above all reproach. Don't we sometimes do the same thing? When we are wronged there is a temptation to take on an attitude of superiority such that we cease even asking ourselves if any fault lies within ourselves.

Unfortunately, Jacob was wrong. Even though Laban did not find the stolen idols that day, Rachel had stolen them, and God heard Jacob's vow. Rachel later died in childbirth and was buried alone in the middle of the wilderness, while the rest of her family moved on. (Jacob would later be buried beside his first wife, Leah).

What if Jacob had asked his company if anyone had taken the idols, instead of making such a brazen vow? What if he had considered that there might be some fault on his side? Might his wife have survived Benjamin's birth? Might she, too, have lived long enough to see her son, Joseph, ruling as Prime Minister of Egypt. In addition, if Jacob had asked if the idols were there and Rachel had come forth, Jacob would have surrendered them to Laban and idolatry could have been cast out of his family once and for all.

We condemn ourselves when we do not take responsibility for our actions. We prevent God from doing the work He longs to do within us. Even when we have been blameless in the past, even if we believe we are blameless now, we should always search our hearts and see if there is any fault within. There almost always will be until we are finally perfected in God's glorious presence.

Trusting an Unfailing God

Genesis 25-30

Well, I am sorry to say this, but have you noticed that thus far in the book of Genesis the example that most of the women have given us is precisely what NOT to do? While Rachel was pregnant with Jacob and Esau God told her what there future would be like. "Two nations are warring within you and the younger will rule the older." In that revelation God didn't say a single thing like, "Now, Rachel, I'm gonna need your help on this one..." Did He? No, of course not.

But, like Sarah before her, and so many of us after her, she took matters into her own hands. In order to help God bring His will to pass Rachel betrayed one of her own sons and deceived her husband. I cannot even begin to imagine the long lasting impact her deception would have on her marriage, and would Esau ever speak to her again? Finally, she loses the one thing she most cared about. She has to send Jacob away to protect his life from the brother she helped, and even persuaded him to betray. She loses everything in her life that mattered in a single act of mistrust.

Reading about how prone to intervention these first women of the Bible were, Eve, Sarah, Rachel (even remember Lot's wife and daughters) it should scream out to us as a warning. GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING! If He has made you a promise, HE WILL BRING IT TO PASS. If He has told you something, HE WILL SEE IT THROUGH.

As we wait and wonder when He will act, let us remember the examples He intentionally left for us. Let us learn from their mistakes and let us not repeat them. Let us learn to trust God, His wisdom and His perfect timing. He always knows what He is doing and nothing ever takes Him by surprise.

This lesson was brought home very personally for me as Owen and I struggled with our few years of infertilty. There was no known reason why we couldn't conceive. This was sometimes an encouragement, it is always better that nothing be wrong, right? Other times it was a great frustration, for if nothing was wrong there was nothing for me to fix, and I find myself to be a great fixer...at least in my mind.

Owen and I had determined long before this struggle that we did not personally beieve in intervening to force conception. This conviction is not for everyone and I could never pass judgment on another couple as they face this incredible difficult choice. I only know what was right for us. For our situation we both believed that our only coioce was to trust God. In His time we believed that we would conceive.

A little over two years into our struggle God allowed me to discover my intolerance to gten. That discovery brought with it not only pregnancy, but the greatest quality of life change I could have imagined. It was not merely God's will for us to have a beautiful baby boy. It was also His will for me to be in perfect health, thriving as I carried and now raise that precious child. Had we intervened and tried to force our will we might have succeeded in creating a life, for God often allows our will to prevail, even when it is contrary to His, as evidenced by the reading which inspires this entry. But, although we might have succeeded in attaining the child we desired, I would continue to be ill, and who is to say that I would have been able to sustain the pregnancy? And though any child is precious, a child created at any other time would not have been this child. He or she would not have been my beautiful Noble boy. And what joy would I now be missing in my life if this sweet boy were not a part of it?

You see, there is so much more to our faith in God's purposes than merely our own life and choices. Whose life might be depending on my faith in God's promises? Whose life might be impacted by my forcing of my own will for my own purposes?

It is not merely for myself that I must trust my God. He is Master, Creator, Lord of all creation. He holds the future in His hands - not merely my future, but all future. I must trust Him. I must believe Him. He has never failed me.

Do I Trust Him?

This week's Bible blog is inspired from Genesis chapters 19-24.

There is so much in this section that it is really difficult for me to pick my usual one story to focus on so I am going to focus on a theme.

God promised Abraham and Sarai a son. For the sake of brevity I am going to skip all of their doubts along the way but let's just agree that we can hardly blame them for wondering how they were going to birth a child of their own as Centenarians. (That's my SAT word for people in their 100's.)

So, miracle of miracles occurs and they do, by natural means with no intervention, conceive and give birth to a healthy baby boy. I know that most of you have also read this story, but it helps me to summarize.

This is what I find incredible about the coming scene. Sarah asks to send Hagar and Ishmael away. Although it hurts Abraham because he loves Ishmael, who is, after all, also his flesh and blood, God tells Abraham that it will be OK. Just let them go. So Abraham gives up his first born son.

Think about this, it is so interesting. Ishmael was the child born of the flesh. God promised a miracle and Sarah didn't have enough faith to receive the miracle so she interceded and told Abraham to have a son through her maid. (Let's not even get into the way marriage worked back then!!) Through their own strength and their own efforts, apart from God's will, they brought their own will to pass. Hagar had a son, and God had to send him out of Abraham's life. They had to get rid of their own dream before God could do something with the dream HE gave to them.

Then, after Ishmael has been sent away, Abraham's only son remaining is Isaac, and God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Can't you hear the dialogue?

Abraham pleads, "But God, I waited and I waited for this promise to come true and now you want me to kill the very dream that you brought to fruition in my life?"

God replies, "You trusted me then, you need to trust me now."

Abraham: "But you already sent away my other son. I have no one left. There are no heirs to my family. Aren't my decendants supposed to outnumber the sands of the sea?"

God has only one response, "Either you trust me, or you don't. So, Abraham, do you trust me?"

Abraham packs his son up and climbs the mountain. Can't you imagine that every step of the way he was searching the woods for a lamb, a goat, anything that would let him out of this. Every step higher on that mountain he must have been trying to drown out his own agony to strain and hear God speak, for surely God was going to call this whole thing off.

Can you picture Isaac, a young boy climbing up the mountain with his father?

"Hey, Dad! Did you see that rabbit over there? I bet I can jump as high as he can! Watch me try!!" and as Abraham watches his son, who trusts him completely, try to jump off a log and onto a rock his heart aches over the choice before him. Do I trust God or do I love my so? of course the two questions are incompatible in reality. If we completely trust God then we love those around us so much more perfectly. But it is so easy to understand why Abraham would feel torn by this step of faith that God asked of him.

Now this is the cream of the story to me. Abraham ties Isaac up and places him on the alter. You have to think that if Isaac, a young, strong boy, had put up any sort of fight against his father, who was well over 100 by this time, then Abraham wouldn't have had a chance at successfully binding him. That tells me that Isaac didn't struggle. Isaac must have asked, "Why, Daddy?"

And all Abraham could say was, "God told me to, but I know that He will provide a way out of this. Isaac, do you trust me?"

Here Abraham was, asking of his son the very same faith that God had asked of him...and they BOTH passed this test. Isaac trusted Abraham and Abraham trusted God.

So after all of that I have a few questions to ask myself.

1. What has God asked me to surrender? Do I have to let go of an old dream? (Ishmael) or am I being asked to sacrifice the very dream God brought to pass in my life? (Isaac)

2. Is there anyone else whose faith is depending on whether or not I trust God to bring His promises for my life to pass?

3. Who is watching me and trusting me?

4. Whatever He has asked of me, Do I trust Him?

These are questions that I have to ask myself over and over again. But hopefully each time God asks something of me I am able to more quickly respond in faith. Each test produces greater trust as I watch him faithfully provide for every one of my needs.

He is, indeed, faithful. It is I who sometimes lack faith.

Losing Myself and Finding the New Me

I was talking last night with a friend whose family is much larger than mine. I was sharing with her some of my current struggles as a still relatively new Mom.

When put into perspective, a new mother loses a lot. There is no doubt that anything lost is more than made up for by the addition of the wonderful new person in your life, but I believe every loss should be recognized and grieved, even if only momentarily.

We went on a family road trip in March and explored the Grand Canyon. Before Noble was born Owen and I would have hiked down to the bottom and camped out for a night then hiked our way back up. With Noble in our family I carried a 22 lb. pack on my back, front or side all across the expanse of the south rim. It was fun to hear his "ooh's" and "aah's" and see him smile and clap at nature's beauty, but it was certainly quite a difference experience this year than it would have been two years ago. Let's go back a bit.

Pregnancy was amazing and I sincerely look forward to experiencing it again, but the farther the pregnancy progressed, the bigger Noble grew, the more I began to feel that my body was no longer my own. I think this is God's way of easing us into the shock of motherhood gently.

Then the blessed event occurred. Out into the world emerged my beautiful baby boy and from that moment on I discovered that my body truly was not my own. I did not even know this saggy, post-pregnancy body. To whom did it belong and how did I get stuck inside it? Then, when he was just about two months old my husband and I sat down to figure out how much time I spent nursing. Can you guess? In a one week period with a two month old baby I spent up to 37 hours a week nursing. That is a full time job in any country! No wonder I felt that I was no longer my own!

Of course, those days pass swiftly and now I have a 14 month old toddler who runs from morning until night. He requires much care but entertains himself just enough for me to have a few minutes to ask myself a few questions.

I sat down one day and realized that since he was born I have given up a job that I loved, a career that I loved and excelled in, a city that I loved, and with it good friends. I have not been away from my baby for longer than three hours since his birth over 14 months ago. I have done nothing alone with girlfriends in that time and I have not gone on a single date alone with my husband without our son along for the adventure. (Before you feel sorry for me know that this coming week our big first date is panned! Yes!!) That is a lot to give up in a short time.

Please understand, I am not complaining about any of these changes. Everyone of them was a deliberate choice and I would choose the very same today as I chose a year and a half ago. But when I sat down and acknowledged these differences I suddenly understood why I have often felt so lost over the last year. I am not the same girl who brought that baby into the world. I'm a grown up now! Of course my life is going to change. And change isn't always a bad thing, is it?

In John 15:3 Jesus says, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." How much more is it my honor to lay down my life for my family? Jesus also said that he who loses his life will find it.

It is true that I have lost something by becoming a mother. I have lost independence and self-indulgence. I have lost spontaneity and flexibility. But I have gained infinite love for my child and my husband. I have gained confidence and boldness as a woman. I have gained respect and admiration for every other woman around me.

Yes, I had to say goodbye to my footloose pre-baby self. And it's going to take me a little bit of time to get to know the new woman I'm becoming, but I think she is well worth knowing and I'm so glad that my baby gave me the chance to find out all I could become.

Taking The High Road

This week's Bible blog is inspired by portions from Genesis 14-21.

There are several components of these chapters that stand out to me.

First, Abram and Lot decide they need to part ways. God has blessed them so much that they cannot stay together and maintain the same level of prosperity. Abram trusts God and yields the choice of land to Lot . Lot looks around and in complete selfishness chooses the best land for himself. Abram goes along with it and they split up. The succeeding story tells how Abram continues to be blessed beyond measure while Lot lives in fear of the evil people in the territory he chose for himself. He even had to be rescued from abduction during war by Abram.

Haven't you ever been in that situation? You take the high road and yield to another person and they completely take advantage of your generosity. Then, they seem to get the better end of the deal and you're left asking yourself, "What did I just do and why in the world did I do it?" Enter God into the situation...Isn't it just sensational how he honored Abram's unselfishness and gave him bounty despite the fact that his land might have been inferior to Lot 's. Additionally, look at where Lot 's selfishness got him. He lands in Sodom where everyone is a target for sexual depravity and he has to lock himself and his family up at night to keep them safe. He is still trying to live a righteous life, but he has completely missed the mark.

It is so easy to be discouraged when we see others who have attained their success through less than proper means, meanwhile we struggle and strive to live righteously and sometimes feel we're not getting ahead. Take another look at this story. I find it interesting that the Bible specifically tells us that Abram thrived financially but it says nothing about Lot . Perhaps because the way his life turned out it doesn't matter how much moeny he made along the way. He might have been doing great at earning a livingbut he gained all his success at the expense of his family. He had daughters that he was willing to trade to the vile men of Sodom and he loses his wife in a desperate escape.

The road of righteousness might sometimes be less glamourous than the road of self-indulgence, but the reward is worth any sacrifices we might make along the way.

Guilty Pleasures and Double Standards

My husband and I have started a light-hearted and loving banter about our guilty pleasures. He loves fantasy baseball and football in their seasons and he also loves the X-Box sports games that allow the player to manage the team. He loves the alternate reality aspect of the game, not just the actual game playing. I've never really understood this until recently.

One of my Facebook friends, who will remain nameless, gave me a harmless apple tree, which brought with it an invitation to play "Farm Town." Though I love keeping up with distant friends and families and I am definitely an active picture poster, (you would be too if you had my little boy posing for you!) I've never gotten into any games on Facebook, usually quietly ignoring the invitations I am sent. But now, thanks to my aforementioned nameless friend, my calm Facebook world has changed.

I started out cautiously, without a plan, plowing a field here, throwing a tree there, animals roaming aimlessly all over my land...my farm was a mess. Then, I learned that you can earn farm currency by working at other farms. I figured I'd give it a try. I traveled to the marketplace to find work as a farm hand which allowed me to visit various farms as their proprieters hired me. I saw one level 24 farm (as I remained on level three) and I was hooked. While at once thinking, "Wow, this person spends way too much time on here," I confess I also thought, "Wow, maybe someday my farm will look like this!" The love affair was solidified.

The current obsession stands. I'm trying to earn more coins to expand my farm and eagerly await the coming in of each harvest. I even tried to persuade my husband to reply to a book club offer which would have earned me over 30,000 farm coins...at that point the banter began. (Hey, it was a cook book club, he should have been all over that, right?)

He thinks my new obsession with this game is ridiculous while I believe it to be equal to his love of fantasy sports. He said, "It's not even close to the same thing!" Presumably because the opportunity for him to manage a baseball team exists only in virtual reality while we actually do have our own garden. I can get out there and plant tomatoes any time I want. I see the difference, but the success of my virtual garden which is plowed, planted and harvested in just days, inspires me to work even harder in my real garden. What does fantasy baseball inspire him to do?

This is our fun-loving disagreement and we're having fun laughing at each other. If we can't laugh at ourselves then how boring would life be? It's all in good fun and that's how we roll.

Anyway, Farm Town could just be a phase I am going through, and I'm quite sure that there are more productive uses of my time, but right now I am having a blast watching my perfect little cartoon farm take shape. My sunflowers will be ready to harvest tonight...

Reading The Right Story

This week's Bible blog is based on my reading of Genesis Chapter's 7-12.

There is one story in this section of Genesis that has always affected me. After his great and glorious victory of saving humanity through his own family's righteousness, being charged with the repopulation of the earth, and personally receiving God's first promise to never again flood the earth...Noah gets drunk.

It's funny, because in the human sense you think, "Well yeah, he got drunk! Wouldn't you want a drink?" But it seems so "unrighteous" to us, doesn't it? And God chose this man because of his righteousness.

I realized why I have struggled with this story, though. I was reading the WRONG story! This is not a story about a man who enjoyed the fruits of his vineyard too much. This is a story about a son who saw his father's weakness and mocked him. This son, Ham, even tried to bring his brothers over to mock their father along with him. He showed disrespect and disdain for the man whose righteousness had just saved his life, and his wife's life.

It is also a story about two loving sons, Shem and Japheth, who respected their father so much that they covered his "nakedness." They did not draw attention to his infraction. They covered it for him, until he was able to do so himself.

This story holds great relevance for the church today, and for individual families, as well. None of us are perfect, and the minute we start to act like we are, we condemn ourselves. (Forgive and you will be forgiven, withhold forgiveness and it will be withheld from you). Many today came out of less than perfect home lives, much like the earth before the flood. But now we, like Noah's family, have been rescued and set apart. So now, when we return to that world we have a choice. Are we going to call out the infractions of others at their expense, to make ourselves feel better? Or, will we be willing to overlook their shortcomings and remember that they are still people worthy of respect?

Regardless of his human frailty, God chose Noah. Perhaps, despite my own imperfections, He could even choose me.

Deception, Truth, and Real Mercy

I've decided that I am going to include in my blog a weekly discussion on what I'm reading and learning from my Bible reading. So, starting with the beginning, here we go...

From that moment in the garden when we first chose to doubt God’s word, His character, and chose instead to trust the lie of the enemy; to trust our own thoughts and emotions, we have never stopped doubting.

With love staring us in the face we doubt its sincerity. With a paycheck in hand we fear or doubt whether it will be enough. With God’s words in our hearts we doubt whether His promises are really valid for us, in our lives.

From that first seed of doubt planted in the Garden of Eden has sprouted this ubiquitous and pervasive tree that squelches and shadows every area of our lives.

“Has God said…?” asks the voice of doubt. Then we have another choice. We can heed the voice and continue to doubt the very essence of God or we can shout back.

“Yes! God HAS said that I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! Yes! God has said that He has a purpose and a plan for my life! Yes! God has said that my worth is far above rubies!”

As I read the opening chapters of the Bible I am overwhelmed by God’s overflowing mercy. Despite the reality that at every step, humanity failed to trust His goodness, failed to trust His love, failed to obey His commandments, failed to heed His warnings; still He continues to invest in us. He continues to strive with us, to enable us to become all that He knows we are capable of becoming. And surely He knows all that we are capable of becoming, for it was His masterful hands which fashioned us. He never ceases helping us reach for the relationship for which we were created.

We can doubt and fuss and fight, but His mercies are new every morning just the same and He will never give up on us.

How Did I Get Here?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? I think I might ask it a bit too often. It's not necessarily a negative thoght, either. How did I get here, married to the most amazing man I've ever met? How did I get here, with the most adorable little boy ever born? How did I get here, living in the beautiful, old Victorian house of my dreams? Do you see what I mean? There are lots of good ways to ask the question.

Then, of course, there are the less than encouraging queries. How did I get here, with three different body fluids from the same little boy on my shirt? (Didn't I used to be a well dressed business woman?) How did I get here, where my idea of conversation is, "Where is Noble's nose?" How did I get here, when I might wear make up a whopping once a week (and probably on that same finally do more with my hair than a pony tail - although I have just about perfected the versatile pony tail...it can be high, low, on the side, in the center, half pulled through, curly, straight, or of the pig variety - Really, how did I get here?!).

It is a funny thing to think about, really. I have asked myself this question often over the years of my life and I am just beginning to find that there is contentment in the answer. Oh, my life might once have sounded more exciting in the telling, to be sure. Professional singer, songwriter, actress, model, then business woman living in Nashville, New York, traveling often. That sounds like fun even to me and I lived it. As it begins to sound exciting I have to remind myself that I never quite felt fulfilled, truly content. Yet, when I sit on my back porch and watch my baby boy toddle from me over to the grass and pick a blade for chewing there is a sudden swell of overwhelming unworthiness that fills me. How did I get here? How is it that I am so fortunate that God chose me to live this life?

I don't know how I got here, but I know I can't waste it.